baby_thanatos
Dedication: TO my family, I love you. TO my friends, I need you. TO my God, I dedicate my life to You.



Subjuct: Alexandra Lim

Blessed...

Germany, the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. As i walk through life here. I see the many faces of many things. I learn to pity those who hate me, and I learn to love a culture, that I find exhausting. Why would they want to make life so difficult? Now i understand...








And ofcoz it's also because my pic is there!! mUahahaha




My Contacts:

The Emos...

Ivy

Mellisa Tian

Kat

Mae Zhui

Yoggie Bear

Keat Mei

Ee May

Michelle Ng

Daphne

Regina

Cheryl Mohan

Saffron

Michelle Yong

Genesis

Dewgem

Meesh

Jane Loke

Liu Fang

Deborah

Cheryl

Jaslyn Lai



The Machos...

Yi Khai

Ian Tan

Kyle

Lucas

Wai Kit

Jonathan Foo

Kelvin Lim

John Yen

Riki

Aidan

Bryan Limus

Lawrence


Currently Reading:



What ELSE could I be reading now????


   

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Sunday, October 14, 2007
The things that you're close to...

I met with a friend of mine a few weeks ago. She just came back from Italy. It was italian this italian that Italy this Italy that for a few weeks, and when she chose her subjects, guess what? Italian.....

It just hit me, if you experienced something, you would leave it hanging on your lips. No matter what you do, you'll think of it, talk about it. What you experience, is what you're close to, it'll what what you want to get even closer to.

Let that be God...

The One that wants to be close to you, the One that loves you no matter what.

He wants the best for us, but... we do not know Him. He loves us, but do we know that? He wants to guide us, but do we let Him? He wants us to get close to Him, he has been knocking on your door, but do you let Him in?a


Posted at 10/14/2007 11:47:10 pm by baby_thanatos
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Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Of a Birch...
Standing erect and tall, the white birch looks out from a hill. She calls out...

The birds came, they nestled. But they leave when the North wind blows...

The worms came, they go again; and left nothing but wounds...

But when HE came, she swayed in His undying melody, lifting her arms towards His rhythm, her leaves fluttering, showing both green and white. Her wounds filled up with His soft whispers, turning her pain into beautiful music.

She found Him at last... her Breeze...

Posted at 8/1/2007 1:41:19 pm by baby_thanatos
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Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Neverland
"I never want to grow up!" - Peter Pan

The things we've been told... We have to learn, we have to accept the lies they've been telling us. We hoped, and he look forward to the next day, until we hope no more... In short, we grow up.

The world, with all it's expectations, burdened us and brought us down. Rules, restrictions. Why do we need them? The reason is simple: we do not trust anymore. Why do we need doors and gates? because we don't trust. Why do we need lawyers? because we don't trust. It is just so hard to trust anyone anymore.

True, it is almost impossible to trust, especially if we've been duped by those whom we believed in. It hurts, it angers, it is, betrayal. Some were done to protect us, some were done to protect someting else, but some, I could say most, were done for sole interest.

But as for I; I prefer to trust, I prefer to believe, I prefer to be a child. Smile a little, laugh a little, dance a little... no matter what people might think.

Let go, and we will embrace life.

"Let the little children come to me" said Jesus, "do not stop them."
Honesty, belief, truth, trust, love...... it is only there, for those who are children

at heart.

Build your own Neverland... never, ever, grow up.

Posted at 7/25/2007 3:25:53 am by baby_thanatos
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Friday, July 20, 2007
Of a Child
Feeling you grow inside me, your little movements, our moments of truth. My dear child, I love you.
Before I have you, I prepared for you. Your arrival I await. The moment I conceived you, I know; you're my own flesh and blood, nothing can seperate us. I'll do whatever I can to protect you. But, I hope you don't mind, I'll be firm, because I know what's best for you.
Seeing you fall would hurt me, but I'll have to allow it. When you run back home, knees bleeding, I'll be there to receive you, to wipe away those tears. Every tear you cry is precious, every drop of blood, priceless. My child, you'll have to go through life yourself, you'll have to face up to your own enemies. But my beloved, I'll be at your side.
Do not stumble through life, walk, with dignity. Do not forget your past, let it be a memory, a guard against the future. Do not celebrate mediocrity, but my child, you'll never cease to be the best to me.
You'll be beautiful, you'll never let me down, you'll be my sunshine, you'll be my heartache, you'll be the apple of my eye.
My dear child...
Eventhough I may seem far away, just reach out, call, and I promise you, I'll be there, standing by you; I'll be there, praying for you. They say spirits linger, I know I will, until the day you join me, decades from now.
Remember, my darling, you have a heavenly Father, to love you, to nurture you, to guard you. The moment you're born, you're His. Serve Him, my child, love Him. As He guarded my path, He will lead you through yours. Lean on Him, your path would not be smooth; I'll be there to hold your hand, as He carry you through...

I'm sorry, my child.


Posted at 7/20/2007 3:42:24 pm by baby_thanatos
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Monday, November 28, 2005
To Men who don't understand why TH women cry all the time...
Thought you all would like this, got it from my email...

Why Women Cry...

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry Finally he put in a call to God When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that manytimes comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Posted at 11/28/2005 5:51:00 pm by baby_thanatos
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Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I know its not exactly up to date but...

As a Malaysian Chinese myself, I FEEL what have been said. I am touched, really touched...

I'm sorry to say this, you can call me ungrateful, biting the hands that fed me, whatever, but I think we have a discriminating political system in Malaysia. It is just like in the US last time isn't it? Its just that the government banned the racial discrimination but ours just let ourselves get away with it.

Well, maybe i shouldn't call it a discriminating system, but I just couldn't find any other words that speak my mind better. What do you call it? "Oh, we're very fair to our people... Its just that some people get special previledges..." or "THEY should be happy WE grant them citizenship... (we landed first)..." So who gave you the right to take the lands from the REAL Bumiputras?


I'm sorry if I happen to make anybody feel angry or uncomfortable, but you should know that its total bullshit and its out-dated. Many of my Bumiputra friends even didn't want the special rights. I declare, only the weak and the one who cannot compete have to get priviledges. Think about it, why can't we all have a fair chance, why all this you're you we're us mindset? why mind the skin colour? Most Malaysians, be they of whatever ethnicity, are born and bred in Malaysia. But somehow, instead of calling ourselves Malaysian, we're Malays, Chinese, and Indians.


In Germany, I'm a Malaysianin, but in Malaysia, I'm a chinese... Eventhough how much I want to be Malaysian, I'll never be a true Malaysian unless I change my name, my religion, my skin colour, my looks, or, to make it more simple, live and be like a Malay, or, what they call the true accepted Malaysians.

 



Keynote Address by Dato’ Seri Dr.Lim Keng Yaik

President Parti Gerakan Rakyat Malaysia

At the Anak Malaysia Convention

Held at Grand Ballroom, Grand Seasons Hotel, Kuala Lumpur

On 13th August 2005

 

Introduction

 

I am grateful for being invited to speak at this Anak Malaysia Convention jointly organised by Gerakan Youth, Sedar Institute and Friedrich Naumann Stiftung. I congratulate the organisers for a job well done. My warmest regards to all distinguished guests, speakers, participants and members of Parti Gerakan.  

 

Ladies and gentlemen, this convention is timely because there is a serious need to rethink and review our nation-building project. It is only through a sincere and open review that we are able to identify and measure its success and failure, issues and challenges in order to help us achieve the desired national unity.

 

National unity should not be interpreted as a communitarian ideology. The discourse of national unity entrapped within the sole purpose of breeding homogeneity or conformity does not reflect a clear understanding of the social landscape of our modern society. In turn, I urge you to consider our proposition of looking at national unity using a pair of multicultural and multiracial lenses. Consequently, the dynamics that help to foster national unity are essentially diverse and different. But within this diversity, we can find a true synergy and strength which is far stronger than homogeneity.

Our nation-building project is supposed to create such positive outcome of national unity. However, a sense of national unity cannot be fostered through mere rhetoric or symbolism. Singing patriotic songs is good but singing them as an act of ritual is useless and meaningless. A sense of commitment to the nation and to the society must come intrinsically from within one’s heart and soul. This is what I called a sense of belonging and a sense of shared common identity to the country and to the society.

 

Gerakan’s Proposition of Bangsa Malaysia

 

Today, we would like to make you a proposition to consider coming together to foster a sense of belonging and a sense of shared common identity. At Gerakan, we call this proposition the creation of a truly ‘Bangsa Malaysia’. For this proposition to become a reality, we believe that our youths or our ‘Anak-anak Malaysia’ play a key role. Our younger generation should be taught to appreciate and respect the country’s rich cultural diversity and that it is essential for them to work together to face multifarious challenges of global scale.  These diverse cultural values are our wealth and not a liability. The foundation of a society should be built from its diverse cultural values in order to shape its shared common destiny and identity.

 

Moreover, I truly believe that for Malaysia and its people to come together as a nation, we need to learn to understand, accept and celebrate our pluralistic nature. Pluralism, I believe is an essentialist element of a Bangsa Malaysia. We should not deny our shared cultural heritage. Over the years, each and every community in Malaysia has absorbed and assimilated elements from other communities into their language, art, music, lifestyle, food and others.

 

Is Bangsa Malaysia a reality or myth? The answer lies in the decision you make today. A nation-building project is never an easy one. Many countries took centuries to build a nation and a society. A great number of these societies were broken down and torn apart by unscrupulous conflicts masked by racial or religious overtones. Hence, different actors in the society must always be mindful of their action and interaction. We ought to practice self-discipline and to observe respect for our fellow countrymen of other races or faiths.

 

We need to build our society or a truly Malaysian race not by getting overly obsessed with a few racial or religious conflicts but to build on our centuries of inter-ethnic relations, understanding, goodwill and cooperation.    

 

Moving forward, I urge you to conduct a critical assessment of our nation-building project. After almost 50 years of independence, do we have a general consensus on the concept of Bangsa Malaysia? Are we ready to embrace this concept? What are the characteristics of a Bangsa Malaysia? These are several pertinent questions to get today’s discussion on the ball. 

 

The Making of a Truly Bangsa Malaysia

 

In my own assessment, there are several challenges and obstacles to our nation-building project and the creation of a Bangsa Malaysia. First, the project is faced with a ‘historical burden’ which must be removed. It stemmed from a politically motivated view of interpreting our historical past. For example, the dominant historical narration of our struggles for national independence and the formulation of the social contract between the main races often take a very narrow communal slant. An often repeated reminder to the Chinese and Indian community in this country is that the government did them a great favour by granting them citizenship to stay in this country. Hence, they should be grateful and beholden to the state.

 

The making of statehood cannot be based on a static interpretation of history. How can we ask these communities to sacrifice and devote their energy, resources and time to help in nation-building if they are often demoralised by such statement? An objective narration and documentation of history is a dynamic process.

 

Our society has gone through together horrid time of the cruelty of colonialism, imperialism and other challenges. We have survived and thrived as a society. Perhaps, it is timely that the future narration of history can reflect more on our join struggles and collaborations. We cannot achieve much as a society and as a nation – with a first-world ambition – if we continue to deprive our younger generation of a true reflection of history.


Second, I find that our sense of ethnicity or religiosity is stronger than our sense of nationhood and citizenship. I am worried that this way we are promoting and expanding our existing racial and religious silos. Most of the policy debates, social discussions or societal dialogues are exclusively race or religious centric. There are not many Malaysian centric dialogues or discussions. I can only generalise that the idea of a shared common destiny and a shared common identity has not sink into the mainstream thinking yet. We still put race and religion first, and society and nation second. Thus far, our national unity efforts are polemical, ritualistic and artificial at best. Henceforth, I would be interested to listen to suggestions from our speakers on how to reverse the current mindset.

 

Third, we need a political paradigm shift. Our model of power sharing is not premised on a zero-sum game. I would like to urge all politicians and aspiring politicians to look inside-out instead of outside-in. We have to be externally focused and forward looking. Remember, narrow communal assertion, slogan and chest-beating will only create more racist reactions. We need to re-examine the relevance and impact of populist race-centric political approach. We need to find if this approach is detrimental to our nation-building project and national unity agenda. 

 

Fourth, I would like to warn Malaysians of a culture of exclusivity which is breeding in our society. This culture is trying to create exclusive groups within our society. What this culture is saying is if you are not one of us, you should mind your own business. Inevitably, this culture is limiting inter-civilisation dialogue and discussion. Another trajectory from this culture is the establishment of extremist groups which promote dangerous ideology and belief. The government has taken serious actions against any form of extremism and all kinds of extremist bantering. Fortunately, Barisan Nasional leaders are mindful that we need to protect our pluralistic nature.

 

The most challenging task is identifying a set of shared common values which all Malaysians can embrace and adopt as a collective value system. Perhaps, this forum could make an attempt to identify some of these shared common values and norms.

 

Harmonise Bangsa Malaysia with the New National Agenda

 

Nearly 50 years since independence, evidently our nation is searching for a new agenda. Over the past few weeks, our political scene is buzzing with a new proposal to adopt and implement a “New National Agenda”. In the era of globalisation characterises by constant change, we need a new agenda or a development strategy to ensure that we are keeping up with these changes. In this regard, our nation-building project should be harmonised with this new national agenda.

 

To construct an inclusive and conclusive national agenda, promoters of this agenda should understand the current realities faced by the nation. The agenda must be able to withstand rigorous public scrutiny. The essential elements in the agenda must be able to address current challenges faced by the society. The agenda must also be broad enough to accommodate the aspirations of all Malaysians, and not just any particular community alone.

 

We cannot resurrect something old and outdated from the past and call it ‘new’. This act is similar to pouring old sour wine into a new bottle. If we are not willing to embark upon a paradigm shift, this new national agenda will be an effort in futility. 

 

Conclusion

 

Gerakan is not pioneering a new movement or creating a new community of ‘Bangsa Malaysia’. We believe that intrinsically, deep down the heart of all Malaysians, they cannot find any explicit reason to reject this proposition. A journey of a thousand miles must start with a first grand step. It is time that we examine how far we have travelled and the direction we are taking after almost 50 years of independence.

 

Finally, I hope you will this convention meaningful and worthwhile.

 

Thank you.

 

 

Dato’ Seri Dr Lim Keng Yaik,

President,

Parti Gerakan Rakyat Malaysia.


Posted at 8/17/2005 10:03:47 pm by baby_thanatos
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Friday, March 18, 2005
A Sad Story...
   You think your life is sad, huh?
   Everyone seems to get what you've always wanted... Everyone's looking down upon you... You're not born rich... You're not born smart... The whole world owes you something...
   Ok, there are people who think that there are a lot of unfairs in this world, and the most unfair thing is that they are not as blessed as their friends are. God is not fair... God loves them better than us, doesn't He? Where is God when the tsunami struck??? where is God when I'm in dilemma?? WHAT GOD??????
   A story is only sad if the author made it sad.
   Lets take an example. Titanic. Many people agreed that its a sad story...

   Look at it in another light. Let's say IF Jack didn't die...

   Rose and Jack will be together right? Rose's beauty is what caught Jack's attention in the first place, isn't it? Before she falls for Jack, Rose is pampered by hand creams, perfumes, make up... And her body is always kept in shape by a corset...
   They lived together, Jack working as an artist. Maybe he didn't really do that well at first. you need to establish your name and artists needs a master piece to be recognize... blah.. so, his masterpiece is not out yet... He is making money just enough to scrape through life. with Rose. Rose can't do anything much, so she is the housewife. She have to wash dishes, wash clothes, dust, tidy up... her muscles will develope, her fats will start to droop without the corsets to set her in shape. Without creams, her hands and skin will not be so smooth anymore... wrinkles start developing... hair is not that smooth and nice anymore...
   She did everything willingly, and she's happy, because she's with the love of her life. Supporting him, encouraging him, loving him... He's happy too, being loved by a beautiful woman, indulging in the envious eyes of his friends and neighbours.
   When one day, jack's peices are finally recognized and everyone is pushing dashing to meet this new renowned artist... and coming with that... girls... High class girls, the ones like Rose (last time). We have to remember that its Rose's beauty when she's pampered attrated Jack. So, Jack falls fro the girls that he never had a chance to meet before.
   He have money, he have talent, he have a courier, he have girl... He dumped Rose...
   Rose have nothing, she can't work, she's not beautiful anymore... she is basically nothing... she can't go back to her mom, she can't go back to the rich guy because she's not beautiful anymore... She ended as a washing woman, washing clothes while crying for her lost love that lives...
   Sad story right??
   Well, its happening all the time all around you... so, Jack's death doesn't seem so sad anymore right?

   There are always different views to a thing, a mishap may turn out to be a great stroke of blessing... Depending on whether you can see them or not.

Posted at 3/18/2005 12:39:22 pm by baby_thanatos
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Monday, March 07, 2005
The foreign, the unknown, the weird...
   Baffled? Most of the times we do get baffled by people who are somehow "different". Sometimes it just makes me wonder, why is there such a thing as a social standard or a kind of requirements, classifying people into different social groups?

   I thought we live in the the twentieth century; i thought we're open minded people who will accept people as what they are; I thought we see things in different view points before moving into action; I thought we are moving towards globalization. But what I see, is that we're still in the olden days aristrocracy systems, where people will not care to venture, or they do not dare to venture (hey it rhymes...) into the other "worlds". In other words, we're like the Hobbits, living only in the Shire and consider every other folk queer.

   Parents and elders are the ones that are most cautious about their children catching the "Western Bandwagon" of mind sets or way of doing things. They are especially worried about the "way people talks". Who CARES about the way people think? Everyone will think differently and most of the people have their own mindset about how things should and should not be done, how men and women should act.
How many people can you please?
Try pleasing everyone, and ends up pleasing noone.

   Seriously, I can never ever make out why girls can't play football, or basketball. Why can't girls be good in the knowledge of cars and English Premier Leagues? Why should girls like shopping, makeovers, curling their hair, gossiping, and giggling?

   Girls should stay away from guys, if not, you're not considered as "precious" anymore... You have to play "hard to get". Guys will think you're cheap... blah... Tell you what, the hardest to get of all girls are those who beats guys in the things they do. Those who will stand on their own, those who challenges guys in their work and play. .
The heart is the hardest to get.

   Seriously, I can never make out why we can't have best guy friends? You hang out with guys, they will think you're loose... THAT, is totally sick! It's just a useless babble of ignorent people who do not understand what it is like to be friends with guys who respects girls. "oh, they're close... I think they're going out..." That's what EVERYONE will think. Who cares? Care too much and you'll be a prisoner of their words.

   You can easily make out who are the guys that hang out with you for a purpose in their minds and those who hang out with you because they take you as one of their buddies. You will know when guys have dark purposes. Trust me, you will, if you hang out with guys more often.

   How many times have you seen a big group of people going out with one or two lagging behind? How often have you seen people change when they first arrive to college from their various backgrounds to adopt the "cool way of talking, moving, dressing....blah..." Why do we change? Is it because we think its a better way to talk, move or dress? More often than not it is because of peer pressure. You have to act a certain way, adopt a certain lifestyle to be "in".

   Oh, the ever classical: "I heard about it from my friend's friend's uncle's wife that tells me that his friend told him that that girl slept with his friend's daughter's boyfriend... that bitch..." (forgive my language...) We will not even think of finding out the truth, or, come on, who cares? Just be friends,
it will not hurt if you can bring change in her
, will it? Even if your friend is proud, even if he is anti-social, what hurt does it do to be friends with him to encourage him to open up?

   I say again: WHO CARES????? Who cares about you mixing with people who are weird? Mixing with the "outcast". Care too much and you'll be one of them. Outcasts are made when people ignore them, shuns them and looks down upon them. But, we're preaching human rights; we're preaching love, so why can't we adopt what we preach? Why can't we practice what we say?

   I am really sad when people are afraid to reach out to people around them who are different, who acts defiant. Most of the time their defiance are caused by the lack of attention people show them, and often they turn to groups of friends that will accept them, and most often these are the groups of people that they should be avoiding instead. They become not like themselves, and acting like the way the group works. They do all these just to be accepted by some people, anyone.

   We preach that God loves the sinner, not the sin. But what testimony do we show when we do not love the sinners? We're afraid of them, we're just "wow!"ed and "huh?"ed and "ye..."ed by them.(if you dont knwo what I mean, call me and ask... >.<)

   Open up people! Be yourselves! Have your own stand, not just get carried by the flow... Reminds me of Avril Lavigne's Complicated. Is being yourself such a difficult thing to do? Just be honest to yourself! Love God, love the people around you... Care about them, give a smile, you'll never know what wonders a smile can work.

 
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Sikit sikit lar...
   The fact that we always want thigns done fast, everything needs to be fast; the college computer is so super slow~, the printer is not fast enough..., fast food blooming everywhere, faster lar!! duno how to drive izzzit??? Yea, i guess I made myself clear... (I'm trying to make this entry fast because I wanna go for lunch! >.<)
   The fact that God doesn't answer our prayers instantly, it doesn't mean that He don't love us, He ignored us, He forgot about us... blah... NO! God never ever forgot anyone of us. We may forget who He is, but He never forgot who we are.
   God will bless us, little by little...

Posted at 2/13/2005 1:38:14 am by baby_thanatos
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Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Sadness lingers... not
Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cried
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only son
Everything was done
So you would come

There's nothing you can do
That will make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Can make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts; broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the blood
The power of His love
Everything was done so you would come...


Posted at 1/11/2005 12:19:39 pm by baby_thanatos
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