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  baby_thanatos Dedication: TO my family, I love you. TO my friends, I need you. TO my God, I dedicate my life to You. Subjuct: Alexandra Lim Blessed... Germany, the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. As i walk through life here. I see the many faces of many things. I learn to pity those who hate me, and I learn to love a culture, that I find exhausting. Why would they want to make life so difficult? Now i understand...
My Contacts: Ivy Mellisa Tian Kat Mae Zhui Yoggie Bear Keat Mei Ee May Michelle Ng Daphne Regina Cheryl Mohan Saffron Michelle Yong Genesis Dewgem Meesh Jane Loke Liu Fang Deborah Cheryl Jaslyn Lai Yi Khai Ian Tan Kyle Lucas Wai Kit Jonathan Foo Kelvin Lim John Yen Riki Aidan Bryan Limus Lawrence Currently Reading:  What ELSE could I be reading now????
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God is good all the time!! Lord You are good and Your mercies endureth forever!! these last few months have been, well, i admit, a down fall in my walk... But nevertheless, just as I was thinking that I have a fat chance of bounding back on track, He just told me that I can. I'm forever loved, I realized. And for that, friends, you guys HAVE to know Him.
To be brilliant; to be headstrong... I just watched Alexander with my friends and brother. Pretty much a good movie... But still, disturbing... Anyway, that's not my point. In a prt of the story, father of Alexander told him that no man can ever be too brilliant, too brave, too successful; no woman can be too beautiful without facing the wraths from the Gods. Without paying the price of life. It made me think... Why would the Gods want to do that? are they jealous? Are they just feeling uncomfortable because mere humans are better than them? There's this greek myth about a girl named Anachdaine (or something) that weaves beautifully, and she became better than the Goddess of Art, then the Goddess changed her into a spider... Green eyed monster... Do GOD really have to be jealous of us? What makes him God then? Swt... He don't even have to worry about being overpowered by us, because, we can't. And even IF we have to pay our lives to burn that gloriously for one short short period, I would. What's the use of being mediocre? Why would you even care to live without doing your best? Why would I even care to wake up every morning if life is jsut the same everyday? Same bored faces we see everyday, same stupid words we have to say, same old route we have to take, same things we have to do... It's all same same same same... Why don't I just do something else today? Smile a smile and make a person's day; give a coin to bless a person's life; say a word of encouragement, to bring a smile on that weary face. Bless a life with the love of Jesus Christ, just as He had blessed us. Why not? Be the best you can be, do the best that you can do. And the best part is, you do not know your limits, not yet. If you push harder, somehow you'll find that you can actually stretch longer than you thought you can.
:*:.+:~Love~:+.:*: Love is often so complicated and sad... The world made it so. Love is often characterised as something that is beautiful beyond words; but something that is not previledged to everyone. In the media it is protrayed as something that onyl beautiful people can have... the ugly and the plain are just not involved in it. It's always out of their bounds... And most of the time, it is so, in real life. Only the people who are beautiful are always loved. It is sad that sometimes, no matter how bad the person is, we're somehow blinded by their beauty. Regretfully, but true, all of us, love things that are beautiful to the eyes. Ugliness somehow just don't find favor in our eyes. What we don't see, most of the time, is the virtues and graces within. What is the measurement of beauty? How often have you heard:" I've just seen the most beautiful thing in my life..."? Just seen... Is that really what determines what beauty is? Seeing from the eyes of a blind man: She is like a chorus of music from the angels, glorious, gentle and kind. Her hands, course, but soft is the touch; her voice, gentle and kind; her spirit, like the sun! Somehow, she is always smiling. I can't see, but I feel her bright smile, her sincere touch, her warm breath, her laugh! Oh her laugh... Like the tickling of water of a stream... Seeing is believing... Well, maybe, but not quite. (Scroll down... got new illustrations for my old post...)
The "water hole blunder"s of a Kancil I was looking at my car today and I suddenly felt like my car... I know this sounds scary but it somehow hits me and I suddenly feel for my car so therefore I feel like my car... How does it feel like being MY car?? My head is hurting again today. I just can't get into the sun too long... I'm not complaining or anything, but, seriously, I need some shade. I'm glad that she always puts me under the tree, out of th sun but, you can't ask too much, can you? The tree, my friend, has this really really bad habit of spitting everywhere and anywhere he feels like. Yea, he's elder than me, buut, sometimes I just wish that I can be clean for more than 2 days in a row... To be covered with spotches of juice from an unknown fruit is not really that comfortable you know... I think I like my new owner... She lets me run as fast as I can. I can run, you know, but I've never ran my fastest with the previous owner. I need training though. I'm running faster and faster until one of my muscles broke... I spent a week at my doctor's recovering from my injury. Then, the training begun again. It was fun, especially when I get to know that I can actuall out run myself. I was really disappointed and sometimes feel really frustrated if there're someone else blocking the way in front of me... I really agree with her that I hate jams! It takes up lots more to run through a crowd at a low speed than running at a high speed without anyone in the way. I like running though the night, without anything to get into my way. I can run all night, and see things and places that I've never been to or seen. I've been to the world I felt, I suppose there are other places, places that she spoke about. I'm looking forward to it! 23rd Nov, 2004 My face is scarred... I feel the pain... For a moment I was knocked silly. But surprisingly, I felt a force protecting my body. I broke my skin... But the other person, her whole bumper crashed and needed a replacement, and she needed to be knocked into shape again... I was really surprised that I survived the crash and she have to go through major operation. Thank God... But I really hope my owner can send me to the beauticians... to get an eye job... I really need it now.... (the "water hole blunder" stands for something... Try guessing the meaning... =P) (whoever got this without help from me, is entitled to get a free large fruit juice in the restaurant I'm working in...)
Kancil vs. Wira And surprisingly, Kancil won... "Thump!" marks my first time... of getting into an accident... The Wira was in front of me, I was looking at the right side... hoping to find a slot to get out from the jam... I thought the car in front was gone... since she's halfway on the road and the next car coming was 200m away... She stopped, without my noticing... Next things I knew... "thump!" My Big Baby Bear... (my car lar... Called B3 because I love bears and Big Bear sounds so guy... so I put a Baby there... why big? eh... A Kancil is biggter than an ordinary bear ok...) Anyway, my B3 is a little dented... but the Wira's whole bumper kemek plus, the boot can't be closed... Aih.... aih.... aih.... why lar these things happen to me? Now I have to pay for the repairs... But I really really thank God for guiding me through all these. Even when I'm facing the crisis, He's always there. For no reason at all, I was singing... Singing the song: Still Hide me now under Your wings Cover me within Your mighty hands When the oceans rise and thunder roars, I will soar with You above the storm; Father You are King over the floods; I will be still know You are God... - Still Why am I so afraid? Why was I so scared? Didn't God tell us to wait upon Him? Didn't He say that all things are possible through Christ? So, why is there fear of a fianace breakthrough that never came? It will come to pass, depending on what is the right time. God don't give us things that we want, but what we need... At His own time, His own will. But one thing is certain: HE WILL SEE US THROUGH... No worries! *winks*
How I wish, How I wish... How I wish that the world will not be such a cruel place. Where people are killing their own kind just t have a stand in this world. How I wish that money will not be the first priority in many people's hearts. How I wish that everyone do not have to worry about wealth. How I wish that wealth is a thing that can be given freely. How I wish that everyone in the world will have a mature and clear mind o think what situation are they in and the solutions towards it. How I wish misunderstandings will not be the cause of many broken friendships. How I wish people will just be open-minded towards things and try to see it from other people's point of views... How I wish the ones we love will love us back and the ones we don't will understand why we can't love them back. How I wish... How I wish...
I don't know... I don't know if You can hear me, Or if You're even there, I don't know if You will listen, to a gypsy's pray'r. I know that I'm just an outcast, I shouldn't speak to You; Still, I see Your face and wonder, Were You an outcast too? - Hunchback of Notre Dame Sometimes we just feel like pond scum don't we? (Well, especially after receiving a agonizing "councelling" session with Ms. Rosaline... Love you Ms. Rosaline! Well, she's right lar, just that she can be a hard person to agree with, even when she's right.) Anyway, we sometimes feel super low, and super blur. We are not always sure what we want in life. Even if you KNOW it, it doesn't mean you always believe in it. "I'm an outcast, I'm nobody"? These are just somethings we hear all the time, aren't they? Our tribulations, so people really know? Do people really care? Do God love me if I... if I... We're doubtful, very doubtful all the time. Things change us, every minute of everyday. Shit happens, it does. And when those things happen, we're somehow moved, altered from our firm beliefs. It's normal, it happens to everyone... But, the point is, what are you doing about it? No use feeling down in the dumps if it doesn't uplift you and make you a btter person. We have to stand, whether you like it or not, you have to stand. If you don't, what's the use of living? We live because we live; life is short, play more... Sounds familiar? Do you agree with it? I do, to a certain extent. We have our responsibilities to accomplish. It is always after acoomplishing what we have to do, only then can we really enjoy doing what we want and like to do. You can't really enjoy yourself all the time thinking that you'er going to get so screwed by your parents when you go back home because you did not take out the laundry like you should, can you? Well, I can't. So why don't we just put our priorities right and do things in the right sequence and right time? Then we can live life full! Isn't that a better solution? Got scolded? Get the things done right, then there's no excuse and no reason for someone, anyone to criticize you. Simple solutions, hard to achieve. This I cannot help you friend, because you're the only human that knows what's it like and what should be done about it. If you can't find a solution, aha!... Seek God... Told you to do things the right sequence... Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all things shall be added unto you...
~The Niggles of a strand of Hair~ Argh!!! The hair dresser's again?? I thought we just went there like a month ago! Do we really have to face this path of torture every month? It's bad enough that my brothers and I have to get wet everytime he takes a bath! Not to mention the white bubbly stuff he uses to peel of our skins and the constant raking through us. We love to tie together into groups to talk and to communicate which is the only way we can communicate. How else can we? We don't have mouths attached to our bodies, just senses at out roots. I think I'm going to faint again, just like the last time he visited the hair dresser's. Oh no, not again! I'm really counting my days... seeing my brothers getting killed one by one, as we slowly got ripped from our roots. Anyday, Any hour, Any minute, one of us may just leave us forever. What will happen to me when my turn came to fall from his head? Ohh... It's so cold!! The hair dresser just poured something on me! It's making me shiver! Soon bubbles started to form around me. Darn! It's the wet bubbly stuff again! Argh... I can feel my skin peeling again. We're turned round and round by the hairdresser's hands, and I'm definately sure, even through this hectic moments where everyone is screaming, I can hear the "pluck!" sound issuing from some of my brothers; Good bye forever man!! Ohh... Jesus, deliver me! Ooo... It's too hot!! The darned hairdresser is using hot water... tone it down man!! You're burning me roots! First cold, now Hot! What the? Do I complain too much? I don't think so. I'm tortured everyday and its time someone hears the grievance of a strand of hair. You know, being the hair of someone who uses wax all the time is not exactly the most enjoyable thing to be on earth. Being sticky and muffled is NOT the way I want to spend my days. Not to mention, I have to constantly be short! Talking about impressing a girl... I have to feel the agony of being sliced through almost every month! And hot water wash off my natural skin layer, and not to mention the anguish of having to dip into clorine water for at least 8 hours per week while he goes for swimming sessions. And the sun, Argh... the sun... I grow fairer everytime it shines on me... I used to be black, but now I've ceased to become some ugly shade of brown. And who is the one that invented hair dyes? I don't mind the natural henna ones, but the chemical ones? The smell is enough to nauseat you, how can he put it on us? Can he even eat? BLown dry is not the way I want myself to be dried. You see, if I'm blown dry, I'll probably be too dried up, which is what happen most of the time as I'm considered as the "outside layer" of hair. My brother are more lucky, they do not have the same problem. They do not need to see the sun even... Argh... I hate being this person's hair... why can't I be a she? I know this sounds off, but, seriously, can I be the hair of someone who knows how to take care of him / her hair...? Please? In Jesus's name I pray, Amen...  ... The white bubbly stuff... Alkaline! Peeling off my skin...  Cool it man! Burning moi~  Sliced through and off... Ouch! Somehow this idea of a strand of hair came when I suddenly feels compasion for well, hair... It started off with me going to the hairdresser's with a friend of mine and seeing him go through the vigorous process of diminishing his bountiful mane... Anyway, these pictures are taken impromtu, so have to be posted up later as I want to make sure he'll not see them... see?
Angels and Demons  Hmm... Have you heard of the book? Have you read it? I'm going to share about this book. If you've read it, let's discuss it; If you have not, too bad... You'll know the ending by reading this article, or you can just shut your eyes to it, read the book first. Everyone that have a passion for books, even without a passion, have to read this book. As enchanting s Harry Potter, and twice as brilliant. Plus, its factual... Well, partly. Anyway, let's begin with a little story telling: Once upon a time, in a far away land, there live a king and his beautiful queen. Although they're blessed with everything their hearts desire... Oops, wrong story... The whole story consisting 569 pages (only applicable to this edition) depicts a story that happened in less than 24 hours. Dan Brown, the author, had effectively decribed the map of the vtican City, which the whole story is mostly taken place in. It includes a map of Rome and also the map of Vatican City. Its about the journey of Robert Langdon, a religious iconologist from Harvard University to the renowed Vatican City to solve a mystery created by the death of a physicist / preist from CERN (Conseil Europeen pour la Recherche Nucleaire), Leonardo Vetra. The preist cum physicist is found dead by the director of CERN, a friend of L. Vetra. He is found dead in his study and branded with a sign, a sign that was believed to have vanished from the face of the earth, the Illuminati. Besides that, Leanardo Vetra's creation, a make miniscule specimen of antimatter, a powerful explosive (read the book, too long to describe) is stolen. Illuminati sign:
The amazing this about this sign is that it is an ambigram, the same read upside and down. It is branded on the chest of Leonardo Vetra. Robert Langdon is asked to confirm the involvement of the Illuminati and the way to find regain the antimatter. But first, let me ask you a question: How do you define religion? How do you define science? What is religion to you? What is science to you? Do you believe in both or either one?
~AYA Dinner Night!~ By popular demand and nags from my friends... This is put up as a "photo album". Those who want to have the pictures in hard copy form, please contact me and place your orders. These I put up for display purposes only, they're very small in pixel count, so your pic will not turn out nice, plus you do not want to have my website on your picture rite?? I've put it up earlier, but beh hum Streamyx is not working while I publish it, so everything went dow the drain... I almost screamed at my beloved old computer... 
Pic 1 My beloved brother and I. Don't he look good in his batik? And don't ask me what I did to m batik cloth to make it twist that way, I did NOT do anything to it, just wrapping it around, that's all.  Pic 2 Daphne and Kelvin Lim. Dashing and beautiful... What a way to put it...  Pic 3 Daphne gave me a heart attack when I first saw her in her full glory... Kelvin looked so green in his obviously green batik, no doubt looks good on him.  Pic 4 They are whom I call the "long" people... Tall and making me jealous...  Pic 5 The tall guy and the shortie... He looks like what his father says: "sweeping girls off their feet." But mind you, I'm still standing on the ground.  Pic 6 The "ji mui" clan...  Pic 7 Jane and Daphne.  Pic 8 The extended "ji mui" clan... 
Pic 9 Wee Vien and I. The Datin and the peasant... 
Pic 10 Datin Khoo  Pic 11 Datin Khoo again...  Pic 12 Jane may look very gentle and soft... But haven't you heard that looks can be deceiving?  Pic 13 She is such a fun and sharp witted girl that you'll be forced to think otherwise than to bully her... So people, watch out when you plan to Kacau her, she may give you a pretty mean punch...  Pic 14 Wonder why are there so many pictures of datin khoo? She wants one for her friendster...  Pic 15  Pic 16 Wah... Never seen Daphne like that before... She'll have one problem soon: Too many guys after at the same time.  Pic 17  Pic 18  Pic 19 Another person that surprises me like duno wad... Su Yin(I'm not sure about the spelling...) She looks so so very beautiful here.  Pic 20 Nominated Mr. AYA, Mr. Ooi Ben Shyen... Note: nominated only...  Pic 21 Woohoa!!! I'm taking pictures with our next prime minister... Elias!!!  Pic 22 Tek Yan, my beloved senior... He's one of the people that can make you laugh withou making an effort. He jokes around and he himself will not be laughing, not even smiling at his own jokes, all the time giving you his "watery eyed", innocent look while you're laughing like mad all the time... We're promoting CampusCity (more like promoting Ern Suey, coz you can only see her face but not the writing here...).  Pic 23 The Datin and Lucas. 
Pic 24 This picture just confuses me... Ben Shyen is Mr. Cool here, and Lucas is giving us the pained smile... Maybe I should start a caption continuity story telling thingie, you guys can send in your creative entries...  Pic 25 Forgot her name... Oops! But anyway, she's Lucas's friend, pretty!!  Pic 26Pastor Ryan, Ms. AYA, Vicky and I myself.  Pic 27 Ern Suey the cover girl.  Pic 28 Kelvin with Vicky, Ms. AYA  Pic 29 CampusCity!!!!
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